I find this thread sometimes confusing and not always conclusive.
Some posts caught in my eyes, they are very emotional that this obscure a con, like Roy can be, than enlighten him. And it can also disguise that his fans could be first of all a victim and than become a perpetrator or maybe correctly mentioned - were urged to be.
It seems to me that there are at least two victims here in this threat ...
I tried to make my own picture of somebody, who can abuse victims in this way, but it's difficult;
I don´t know if Roy belongs in parts to those people I try to describe. Some points may agree other surely not. If Roy is a chronic liar there are surely other characteristic points not to forgett
Those offender observe other people very closely and look out if they can be used as a victim and perpetrator.
They know how to bind, manipulate and condition their victims. They go forward in considered small steps.
The offender gives the victim the feeling that they understand him/her, but also that the victim is one of the very few people who understand the offender. And the offender presents himself is an innocent victim, whom was played ranks on him.
The perpetrator slowly builds an emotional bond, by emotionally bind the victim to the offender. But the offender goes by itself no emotional bond and obligation.
If the offender asks for help, he gives the victim his gratitude that it has helped him, but at the same time he gives the victim the feel of a bad conscience (or will have at least) if it would not have helped, because it would have allowed his own fault, that the offender´s feeling / find will go bad or worth. Sometimes the offender manifests this feeling with obvious or subliminal threats ....
The offender is grateful for help, but he actually gives often the victim the feel that the victim can be grateful to have helped the offender.
If the offender keeps succeeding dealing with a bad conscience, guilt and gratitude to bind the victim more and more, the victim goes for him in the service, pays bills, provides services to do work, not all activities are legally .. and for all that the victim is put off his head, voluntarily ... truly voluntary, can one still speak in this case of voluntary?
For some victims it is very, very hard to make their own decisions from this emotional prison, to break through, because they are afraid of not being able to bear the responsibility of a "No". A "No" and the reactions that follow the victim must be able to stand by, also, that the victim is rejected and threatened by the offender The terrible acts of the offender stop than when the victim returns repentant, admit its guilt ... and - relieved - gets the feeling that the offender not just forgives, but also is the real savior ...
It may be that a victim give up step by step its own desires and needs, so that it can standby the demands of the offender. Sometimes the victim does not really know what actually is going wrong in its life and what is right, it has no more a connection to itself and the way to look behind the machinations is painful. Because that inevitably leads to a painful self-knowledge.
Often the offender blocks the contact of the vicitm with the external world, to the comparisons with other opinions and reviews is only possible, and the victim feels also often blocked by critics who hurt emotionally and put on guilt, than they try to understand the backgrounds.
Emotionally bound by the offender, emotionally struck by the critics, this often drives the victim back into the arms of the offender, he gives the victim the feeling that he was the only one who really granted the protection of victims. The victim often will ask for the offende´s forgiveness
Offender who bind, manipulate and condition their victims in this way, are shrewd.
They can often recognize the behavior patterns of victims which it learned up in its life, and the offender make his advantage. They know exactly when they need to bind the victim, when the time is that they make the victim into a perpetrator so that the victim can not break out of prison ... Many of these Offender have time, some love this game with life about they have total power.
If a victim wants to understand why it came to this rule, victimized and maybe become a perpetrator, they must learn to understand themselves why they react to triggers and with which patterns they react, to grasp the bond to what used to be, to what is today. There is no forgetting, but they can close a chapter of their live and take carefully time to learn about ... from a step back from the events it can be a bit easier. It is about understanding what happened, what is their guilt and its shame, to learn to live with it, about what they are not guilty (and this brick - feeling to be guilty of something they are really not guilty is hard to comprehend) ... and at least they need to be carefully for themselves, use positive values.
If victims learn to understand themselves, they can build warning bells which will ring when a person comes back, which does not have good intentions ... warning bells do not come from somewhere, they can only built up due to the experience and knowledge .. .
And this can happen to anyone here, ...
