Rules for New Age Sweats

[Le Weaponnier]

                  Rules for a New Age Sweat Lodge.


1... No smoking. Smoking is a health risk. Tobacco smoke contains thousands of chemical agents, including over 60 substances that are known to cause cancer.  
Please do not smoke near the Fire.

2... Use the BBQ tongs to transport the Hot  eramic BBQ briquests we are using instead of Rocks. Rocks might explode under extreme heat and are no longer being used.

3... Please use only bottled water on the rocks. Tap water contains Chlorine and Flourine and is harmful. We sell bottled water from Atlantis ($5.00). You may purchase it from the Souvenir Booth in the Lobby.

4... [deleted]

5... Please do not block the exit or hang anything on the EXIT sign.

6... Pets will not be admitted unless accompanied by a veterinarian certificate and all shots.

7... [deleted]

8... Please Note: Medicine man is no longer a Politically Correct Term. Please address the staff as either "Medicine Person" or "Pharmacist".

9... Once the show begins there will be no refunds.

10.. [deleted]

11.. Please make sure all liability forms are correctly signed prior to entry and give them to the usher.

12.. Please turn off your cellphone or set it to vibrate.

13.. This is North America, all questions should be in English. We don't have a translator for anyone else.

14.. Souvenirs and T-Shirts may be purchased after the Sweat. On sale this week the "My Hippy Mom and Dad went to a Sweat and all I got was this lousy T-shirt." in Black, White or Atlantis Blue.

15.. Please Note: To fans of the "Lord Of the Rings" Nagual and Nazgul are NOT the same thing. Please stop asking.

16.. [deleted]

17.. Those who find it too hot, may wish to sit in the Air-Conditioned area to the right of the Fire.

18.. [deleted]

19.. Laser pointers should not be aimed at the eyes of the other participants. Care should be taken when pointing Laser pointers where people are present. [deleted]

20.. All other questions may be addressed to our full Blooded Irish-Cherokee hostess, Miss Ophelia-Coyote-Ugly-Shannon O'Riley.

Have a Nice relaxing Sweat and please tell your friends and family about our Ceremonies. (Discounts for Seniors on Sunday Matinees) Inquire about our Birthday Party package.

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I was having a few drinks and this came off the top of my head. With the exception of Rule #10, it's all mine so if anyone wants to repost it, or email it or flame me, whatever, it's yours to do with as you want. I'm done with it. Have fun. -Le Weaponnier

[walking-soft]

'siyo weaponier,

There is just something about some of your postings that leaves me wandering. Why all the referances to #4. It is not comical and degrades as well as being an explotation of women. The one about the moon cycle is just overboard. Do you know Native understandings of the moon cycle??

                                              ni-hi   u-ha  tla
                                                    a-tlv-quo-dv

[Le_Weaponnier]

The references were deliberate.
New Agers are very big on nudty and sexualiy as part of their Sweats.
Too much so....

[Barnaby_McEwan]

I've removed the offensive passages in your post, Le Weaponnier. You agreed not to post obscene or offensive material when you signed up. Please don't do it again.

To everyone else; I'm sorry this wasn't spotted sooner. Don't forget you can send a private message to one of the admins if anything else like this appears.

[Le_Weaponnier]

Your removal of what YOU deemed offensive was a bit heavy handed don't you think?

You deleted rule #4, which is milder than other items I have seen in these forums....

Explain why item #7 is offensive or are you one of those who think nursing mothers should be relegated to the bathroom, out of site, out of mind?

Item #16 You deleted the whole line, very very HEAVY HANDED... Will you explain to me EXACTLY what part of that item was offensive?  

tem #18 read and I quote "Please see Rule #4 Again."  
You deleted rule #4, for being offensive. Fine, but that doesn't give you the right to delete #18 for pointing to it!

Had not realised Free Speech was a qualified conc ept....

[Barnaby_McEwan]

Your removal of what YOU deemed offensive was a bit heavy handed don't you think?

It wasn't just me who found it offensive, as a quick read through the thread would have shown you.

You deleted rule #4, which is milder than other items I have seen in these forums...

The general tone, rather than particular words, was what got it deleted.

Explain why item #7 is offensive or are you one of those who think nursing mothers should be relegated to the bathroom, out of site, out of mind?

I think nursing mothers should not be made the subject of prurient jokes.

Had not realised Free Speech was a qualified conc ept....

Stop whining: of course it's qualified. If you'd said those things in my home and then acted as you have, your feet wouldn't have touched the ground as you left. You've had your warning: you will be banned from this forum if you continue to post inappropriately. I'm now locking this thread.