Author Topic: Kevin Dubrow, Nancy Heraty AKA Kevin Redbear, Desert Lizard White Owl Crone Woma  (Read 9769 times)

Offline thetruth

  • Posts: 7
I haven't checked back on this thread in a while but want to encourage others who have left the group to reach out to me if they'd like to talk about it.

Offline milehighsalute

  • Posts: 322
ha.......i thought this had to do with the singer from quiet riot who died a few years ago

This group self-identified as “The Cult.”  It was meant to be ironic, sort of a passive aggressive moniker, adopted by the group’s leader.  IMO, it was used to maintain status quo with existing members, and make the community seem non-threatening to those transitioning in.  He always said in a smug voice with a wide smile “You can leave whenever you want.  No one is forcing you to stay.”   He used this type of paradoxical brainwashing frequently in my many years with this group.  He was a good manipulator.  The truth is that this group met just about every criteria of a cult.  Everyone drank the proverbial Kool-Aid.  Anyone who left this group is still healing from the psychic damage.  Anyone who remains and who still defends its former leader and his tenets, is and will be forever asleep…and quite dangerous.  As someone commented above, many of these cult members are current therapists.  You just have to pray hard for their clients. 

At first glance, the group was attractive to me.  Everyone seemed to be liberal and open-minded, like myself.  Many members were studying to be artists, teachers, therapists, etc.  Everyone seemed to want to be more, and to seek a deeper spiritual life.  A lot of the work people did was honest, altruistic, and important.  Though at times it still had to be scrutinized by the group, and ultimately approved by its narcissistic leader.  To be fair, many of us didn’t know how much we were being manipulated and controlled.  It was easy to be convinced our families were toxic, because at times, they were.  Not nearly as toxic as he (Dubrow) projected them to be.  He had his own family issues.  For a group that studied and professed about the dangers of transference, displacement, attachment, co-dependence, etc., we were all neck deep in it.   And for a group which supposedly supported and defended cultural and racial diversity, it was, and stayed, mostly vanilla.  Which always kind of bugged me.  Dubrow often used the word "Fayguhluh," Yiddish for homosexual, to refer to those in the group who he deemed as small or weak; basically whoever didn't conform to his warped view of masculinity.  The group had twisted views on masculine and feminine.  They’d constantly speak about gender with this Half Jungian, Half-Freudian gobbledygook.  Not to mention that it was expected that you only date people within the community.   If you didn’t, you were ridiculed or ostracized, or encouraged to recruit them. 

To those that left:   I still ask myself why so many of us stayed and didn’t question or challenge him (at least not as much as we do now).  Hindsight 20/20.  We were lonely.  We were lost.   But many of us got stronger.  Clearer.   We are much better healers without his, and the cult's, influence.  And I think…I hope…that now we know ourselves a little more intimately… and know how really messed up all of it was.