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A Meeting Between A Peaceful Indian & A Lost S

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A letter from one of the more obnoxious Nuagers in Sweden and my attempt at a humorous answer:

A Meeting Between A Peaceful Indian & A Lost Soul Making "Piece Shields"

Dear Mr. "Piece Shield" Maker,
Annika Banfield passed along your email to me and I really have to thank you. I don't think I've laughed so hard in a very long time.

Of course the problem for you is that you did not intend to be funny.

What is both funny and sad at the same time is that you honestly thought you were being profound when in fact you were just showing yourself to be incredibly deluded and ignorant about Native cultures.

Try and imagine if I were to lecture you on the "truth" about maypoles and runes. Try to imagine an Indian saying "You use maypoles to make Jesus strike lightning and thunder with his mighty hammer, and use the runes to speak to Yusen during crown dances."

THAT is just how terrible and inaccurate and confused a picture you have of Native traditions.
You truly have been terribly victimized by Williston ("Rainbow Eagle") and Talbot ("Medicine Story").
To start with the most obvious fact, Talbot is not even Indian, he's white.

Below is your email and I'll try to address what you say point by point. Hopefully you will be able to see when I'm using Indian Humor too. My words have >>>.

>>>ROFL! OK, already you're being unintentionally funny in so many ways.

>>>I'm guessing you meant "peace" meaning no war, but you wrote "piece" meaning, among other things:

>>>Piece can mean broken up little bits or tiny incomplete parts, as in "pieces of broken glass." And your knowledge of Native cultures is certainly in pieces, incomplete, and broken up by the ignorance you've been fed by imposters like Talbot.

>>>Piece can also mean in American slang the act of sex or a sexual conquest, like "getting a piece of ass" or "a piece of pussy". Another slang word for the sex act is "screw" which also has means to destroy or to harm somebody.

>>>So by saying "piece shield" you unintentionally admitted those phony shields are broken, incomplete, and screw over their users.

>>>I hope you realize there is NO such thing in Native cultures as "peace shields." It's about as stupid an idea as a "peace machine gun." Shields are weapons of war. Williston made them up to take your money.

I heard about a touring Indian travelling round critizising representatives from his own culture.

>>>ROFL! There you go again being unintentionally funny and showing your own ignorance.

>>>Indians don't have one culture, we have HUNDREDS. Williston is Choctaw, I'm not. Talbot pretends to be Wampanoag when he's white, and I'm not Wampanoag.

>>>And neither one of them are "representatives." They're imposters out making money off the gullible.

>>>I will make you an offer right now. I will pay one thousand dollars if you can show me PROOF that either Williston or Talbot were chosen by Choctaws or Wampanoags to represent them.

Pt 2, his words first, mine have >>>.

So I called Hasse and asked him about a copy of the lecturers program. TEN WAYS TO RECOGNIZE FALSE MEDICINEMEN, it said. With an extra: “For you who wants to know the truth.???

During the years I´ve worked with the wisdom of the Pieceshield, different Medicine Wheels and other original sources from Northamerica,

>>>ROFL! Oh right, you think the "getting screwed shield" is from America...And I'm sorry to tell you this, but the version of medicine wheels you learned probably came from H. Storm, who is...GERMAN.

I have among other things been fascinated of how differently we treat a word like “the truth???

>>>So who is this "we"? Did you just magically become Indian?

According to many indigenous cultures which are still in contact with their roots we live in a world full of many different personalities and collective truths.

>>>ROFL! Oh my, it's getting harder and harder to write this, my belly is starting to hurt from laughter.

So when I read that the speaker claimed to be Mescalero Apache and know the only truth,

>>>I'm always amused when people have to MAKE UP things I never said. Tells me they are having trouble refuting what I ACTUALLY say.

I got very confused.

>>>You "got" very confused? Bubba, I hate to tell you this, you were and are incredibly confused BEFORE.

But I decided to use the PieceShield like a Medicinewheel

>>>I'm trying to picture you taking that silly little New Age shield and put it on the ground, fill it with stones, walking around it meditating...and it's a pretty funny image!

and investigate this vision,

>>>It's not a "vision" bubba. It's called an opinion, which just about all Native people share of frauds like Williston and Talbot.

which is apparantly aimed to throw mud on other representatives of the indigenous people of Northamerica.

>>>ROFL! "Throw mud"?

>>>OK, apparently you are very confused (yet again) about how that term is used.

>>>"Throwing mud" may be bad to Europeans and white Americans, but it often isn't to Indians. (Real ones, not imposters like Talbot.)

>>>A lot of Native people put mud on themselves in ceremonies. A lot of Native oral traditions have stories about mud as being the source of creation.

In the spirit of the Piece Shield I turn first towards West

>>>So does this mean you face west during sex?

to meditate on what kind of resonance this message gave in my inner being

>>>Apparently you were using a vibrator on yourself...

and my personal vision of a better world. In the peaceful hibernating-den of the Bear,

>>>You were dumb enough to try and disturb a sleeping bear?

I realized that our respective world views contained so many forecful paradoxes.

>>>Probably the funniest paradox is a white European New Ager lecturing Indians on Indian cultures.

Which made me say a prayer that this lost warrior

>>>A bear made you say a prayer? Are you sure you just weren't praying the bear wouldn't wake up?

finds a good way to balance his extrovert aggressivity

>>>You can say "extrovert aggressivity" but don't know the difference between "piece" and "peace"?

before it forcefully hits back on him.

>>>I'm trying to imagine an emotion "hitting back" and it's a pretty funny picture.

Then I turned North and cleaned my antennas to get more knowledge

>>>Apparently you don't have cable television.

>>>No wait, maybe you think you have antennas like a Martian from the old movies? Which is it?

and enter deeper in what was written

>>>Since you think you're a Martian, maybe you
think you can shrink down small enough to get on the written "between the lines."

and between the lines.

>>>Yes, you sure do think that!

Pt 3

In the little fIyer I found severe mistakes, crude generalisations which together in their diversity

>>>Wait a minute, either there were generalizations, or there was diversity. You'e contradicting yourself all over the place, bubba.

created a picture of an immensely unbalanced belief system

>>>I'll be sure and tell Apache elders their traditions are "unbalanced".

>>>I'm sure they'll run right out and change them because a European New Ager told them to.

>>>That was sarcasm, in case you weren't sure bubba.

and a mind with a huge lack of knowledge.

>>>Let's see, you can't even tell "piece" from "peace" and you didn't even realize your "Indian" teacher Talbot is WHITE...

>>>...and supposedly I'm the one who doesn't know anything.

After that I turned East and used the Eagle´s capacity to see the issue in a bigger context.

>>>That's what it says in biology books about eagles: "They use their eagle eyes to see white New Age issues in a bigger context." Not to catch game, because we know eagles would never do anything as unspiritual as kill other animals.

In my inner landscape

>>>So were you still an eagle in your "inner landscape"? Must be crowded to have him inside your head. Maybe you were something else that could actually fit in a human head? Like, I don't know, a tapeworm.

>>>Is your "Indian" name..."Slithers in Inner Landscape"?

I saw a hurt child

>>>I realize you were trying to do some kind of "super spiritual" diagnosis of me, but you just went and said that YOU were the one who was a "hurt child."

>>>Look up "Freudian slip", bubba.

rushing around looking for confirmation – almost at any price!

>>>That is a truly depressing picture you are painting of yourself, a hurt child who doesn't care how he hurts others.

Here I made a decision not to give this confrontation any more of my energy.

>>>"Confrontation"? It's called TALKING, bubba. And all you're doing is admitting you can't deal with the truth.

So I opened the claws in the spirit of the Piece Shield

>>>You have claws in your "getting screwed shield"?

and let go of the plan to start a more detailed counteraction.

>>>In other words, you just can't deal with the truth about the frauds who taught you lies.

>>>Sorry bubba, but there will be a lot MORE Indians coming over to Sweden to drive the frauds like Williston and Talbot out of business and get people to realize the truth about us.

>>>Deal with it. Accept it.

And so I turned South – the place where we put our visions out in the ordinary reality

>>>The south is the only place with any reality? But you're from Sweden, bubba? Does that mean you admit you're living in a fantasy la-la land?

>>>And Williston lives in Ohio, in the north of the US. Talbot lives in New England. So are you saying they live in an unreal fantasyland, just like you?

with so much trust, empathy and love which is possible to obtain. Now I realized that this lost vision needed to meet someone who could put up boundaries.

>>>Take a look at your own words. You admitted that YOU were the "lost child" a few lines back.

>>>So like a child like you needs boundaries. You need to get your hand slapped when you do wrong.

>>>And Native people are telling you the boundary is around Native spiritual traditions. Leave them alone and quit falling for lies about them.

So by summoning all my sympathy I sat down to write these lines to the readers. There is a teaching in everything that happens. And maybe this lost soul has taken on the task in the Big Plan to thoroughly prove that you shouldn´t give your trust to anyone. Not even if he happens to be a real Indian…..

>>>ROFL! I'm still wondering if you'll ever learn to tell what a real Indian is...

Rainbow Eagle, Mary, Medicine Story,

>>>Nope, apparently not. You still think a white man like Talbot is Indian.

Ellika and other wisdomkeepers who mediate knowledge from different cultures

>>>Interesting choice of words. A mediator's job is to bring peace to cultures in conflict.

know that they are a part of these visions, telling us we live in a very special time. A time that, according to the prophecies, shows that the future of mankind is dependant on us sharing more generously of the beauty in our respective cultures and traditions.

>>>So do you always pay huge sums of money to "share"?

>>>You truly are very funny. You just don't know it...But I'll be sure to tell the world how funny you are. This message is being posted online.
Al Carroll

Thanks for posting this, I laughed myself silly! And This antagonist certainly has a writing style that positively begs for a humorous response, but I am sure it will not be taken that way.

Translation: "Dammit: this guy sounds like the real deal. If I'm to remain in my comfort zone, I must spend time and effort finding out whether he's right or wrong by contacting tribal offices, reading books with long words, etc. Oh - I only have the brain of a rocking-horse. I'll just have to play the 'more spiritual than thou' card. At least that'll make me feel better."


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