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Nuagespeak to Plain English Dictionary

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Anything that helps a newager feel better about her/himself is thought of as positive. Therefore books, 'workshops' and so on which confirm a newager's beliefs about the world and her/his place in it are categorised as 'positive' experiences.

Conversely, anything which makes a newager feel uncomfortable, such as the presence of people who are able to think rationally, is thought of as negative. This is a favourite rhetorical device of the newager when replying to critics: 'You're being really negative!'

Nuagespeak: 'shamanic'.
Plain English; 'spiritual' (in the way that the Beatles were spiritual, not the way that Augustine of Hippo was spiritual).

Common new age usage: 'shamanic journey'.
Plain English: '... a trip to a great Non Ordinary Mall filled with spirits as eager as salesclerks to assist allcomers.' (Kehoe, Alice Beck. Shamans and Religion: An Anthropological Exercise in Critical Thinking. Prospect Heights, Illinois: Waveland Press. 2000. ISBN: 1-57766-162-1. p. 87)

Nuagespeak: 'workshop'.
Plain English: a semi-formal seminar or tutorial where nuagers exchange money for the chance to feel 'spiritual'. Borrowed from the acting profession: nothing at all to do with producing useful material goods. Anthropologist Galina Lindquist described a shamanism workshop thus:

'...an exercise in virtual reality like a number of similar others in the post-modern world. Notable examples are Internet dating, Dungeons-and-Dragons role playing, Living History performances, and psychotherapeutic seances, to name just a few.' (Lindquist, Galina. Shamanic Performances on the Urban Scene; Neo-Shamanism in Contemporary Sweden. Stockholm: Stockholm (University) Studies in Social Anthropology, 39. 1997. ISBN 91-7153-691-4. p. 121)

Nuagespeak: 'teaching plants'.
Plain English: drugs, especially marijuana, peyote and hallucinogenic mushrooms.

You beat me to a couple of em Barnaby. Here's my newest ones.

“Being Positive???- 1) Living in a state of willful blindness or delusion. 2) Censorship of all criticism which is contrary to living in a state of willful blindness or delusion.
As in, “You are not letting our online ’tribe’ be positive when you point out Robert Ghostwolf is a convicted con man from New Jersey, not an Indian. So we‘re kicking you out and censoring everything you wrote.???

“Earth Astrology???- Believing that a faux system with stereotyped “Indian names??? for months is somehow Native, and not European with pseudo-Native names tacked on.  

“Elder???- 1) Anyone old who will indulge the fantasies of clueless upper middle class white suburbanites for profit. 2) Confusing “elder??? with “elderly.???

“Evolved???- The racist claim of Nuagers that their haphazard collection of bits and pieces of indigenous beliefs mixed with “Noble Savage??? stereotypes are somehow a “more advanced??? version of Native spirituality.

“Judging???-Using common sense, reasoning, or facts. Meant as an insult or putdown to imply thinking is something that only mean spirited people do, or used to defend their own ignorance and gullibility.
As in, “I don’t judge like you do,??? meaning, “I don’t use common sense, reasoning, or facts, that‘s something only mean people do.??? Or as in, “Don’t you dare judge me because I believe Atlantis, UFOs, and the Bulgarian Dance of Life are really Cherokee traditions!???

“Power Animal???- The Nuage version of an imaginary friend. Misunderstanding Native beliefs in animal spirits as guides, Nuagers diminish the practice into silly fantasy role-playing. Naturally Nuagers never choose insect, small animals, or non-cute animals, and even will choose non-existent animals such as dragons or unicorns.

“Rainbow Prophecies??? or “Rainbow Ways“- Assimilation of Native cultures, people, and spirituality into white/Anglo/western society disguised as diversity or tolerance.

“Totem???- See “Power Animal.??? Actual Native totems can be either tattoos or the famous totem poles of Northwest Coast cultures.

“Tribe???- 1) A Nuage cult gathered around a domineering leader whose main concerns are power and profit. 2) A loose gathering of unrelated Nuagers, pagans, or wannabes with no common  descent, heritage, or sacred homelands who kid themselves that wanting to be a tribe somehow makes you a tribe.

“Warrior???-  A clueless Castaneda cult member who does Tai Chi exercises with pseudo-Mayan names.

“Way of a Warrior“- Believing that being a clueless Castaneda cult member doing Tai Chi exercises with pseudo-Mayan names somehow makes you a “warrior.???

You guys crack me up. Did I mention that my Power Animal is the Pomeranian?

Here's one I'm tired of hearing -

"Cherokee Princes" 1) a fictatous woman used often by New Agers and other racists to justify their demands. As in "My great great grandpa was a Cherokee Pincess so I have the right to say and take whatever I want."


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