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Nuagespeak to Plain English Dictionary

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Ooh! This is fun. Let me try:

"secret": some $**** I made up.
"process": Half-a$$ed plan.
"holistic": sloppy
"ceremony": expensive costume show. Comes in two flavors: ridiculous or racist, but since you're feeling greedy anyway, why not go for swirl: ridiculous AND racist.
"jealous": sane and wise to my bs. As in, my critics are just "jealous".
"ancient": dates all the way back to the 1960's!
"wisdom": A bunch of Nuage words strung into a sentence. Garbage in=garbage out.
"teacher": imaginary friend OR some fraud who's more famous than me.
"Cherokee": The only Indian nation I can actually name.
"Lakota": I'm totally legit! I can name more than one nation.
"Hopi": I live in the Southwest and like to keep my stealing, I mean, sacred secret ancient wisdom-learning, local.
"Tantra": I'm doing this to get laid--from people who are paying me!
"Spirit guide": I waited in line at Starbucks behind this lady with a giant toucan pin on her shirt, so now you're spirit guide is the toucan. 400$, please.
"Karma": My "teachers" are a real cosmopolitan bunch.
"Kirtan": Asia India, American India: it's all Indian "ceremony", am I right? 400$, please.
"tradition": all of the above, wrapped in an expensive little package, just for you, brave warrior!
"descendant": I actually don't know what this means, but I've noticed it shows up a lot in some fakes advertising about themselves: Michael Runswithfrauds, Hopi Tibetan Ceremony Teacher. Come smoke a peace pipe and develop your powers of tantric karmic wisdom from a real-life Cherokee descendant. I once attended a teaching by His Holiness the Dalai Lama, so I'm a wisdom-bearer for that tradition, too! I heard of the Dawes Roll--so you know I'm legit!

So true! 

I love this list, it keeps getting better.

As funny as it is, I have found it this list has been useful when confronting frauds about their fraudulent traditions. Everyone I have shown it to so far gets a laugh out of it. I really hope NAFPS will have it's own print publications some day, a Nuage-to-Plainspeak handbook being the first, lol.

The one that gets me and grates my nerves:

    "Co-create": Usually used in the sentence "We co-create our own reality."

I have no clue what it means. Besides being nuage babbledygook.

As a white European with no (known) NDN ancestry, (although the snobby parasites in the UK thought my grandma from Canada would be wearing buckskin and feathers when she got off the boat in 1914)  I am really sad this topic ended so soon.  It really shows a lot of us up for what we are.   And it made me laugh so much.  Finally found where all the real humour was hiding in the USA.  Irony is not the adjective of iron....... If the fat white middle classes where're so stupid, the plastic shamans would not have anyone to sell to.  And yeah I was one of those stupid people for a while.  But my family have risen from the English middle class to become working class - ie we do stuff now.  So at least we're worth the air we occupy I guess.

As they say - there's no cure for stupid.  But duck tape muffles the sound.  :-)


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