Author Topic: Since this is NAFPS  (Read 5701 times)

Offline E.P. Grondine

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Since this is NAFPS
« on: September 21, 2012, 02:08:37 pm »
where is the how to guide to becoming a New Age Fraud and Plastic Shaman?

Anybody care to make an attempt at writing it?


Offline Laurel

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Re: Since this is NAFPS
« Reply #1 on: September 22, 2012, 01:27:48 pm »
The Plastic Shaman Handbook

Dedicated to Michael Harner, without whom much of this would not have been possible.

Table of Contents

Chapter One: Divesting Yourself of All Integrity
Chapter Two: Choosing Your Tribe and Teacher
Chapter Three: Mixing and Matching: All Natives Are Lakota
Chapter Four: More Mixing and Matching: "Medicine Cards," Psychic Readings, Hinduism, and More!
Chapter Five: Building Your Clientele
Chapter Six: Sun Dancing For Dummies
Chapter Seven: How Much Should You Charge?
Chapter Eight: Abusing Followers For Fun And Profit
Chapter Nine: Using Lakota Words (No Matter Which Tribe You Chose)
Chapter Ten: When to Start Calling Yourself a "Shaman" or a Pipe Carrier"

Appendix A: Your Costume
Appendix B: Verbal Self Defense: What to Do When You Can't Avoid Actual Native Americans.
Appendix C: How to Talk Exactly Like Chief Dan George in Little Big Man*

*I doubt they all do this, but my wannabe ex-hub sure did. He didn't claim to be a shaman, though.

Offline Ingeborg

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Re: Since this is NAFPS
« Reply #2 on: September 22, 2012, 02:31:33 pm »
You forgot something extremely important, though  ;D -

Appendix D: Short intro to pronouncing Lakota words as abysmally wrong as possible



Offline Defend the Sacred

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Re: Since this is NAFPS
« Reply #3 on: September 22, 2012, 02:55:42 pm »
"My Tacky Ass On!!!!11"

Actually, make that a section in one of the chapters: "We Are All Related" = "We are all one" = "What's yours... is now MINE."
« Last Edit: September 22, 2012, 02:57:54 pm by Kathryn »

Offline Laurel

  • Posts: 153
Re: Since this is NAFPS
« Reply #4 on: September 22, 2012, 04:15:31 pm »
You forgot something extremely important, though  ;D -

Appendix D: Short intro to pronouncing Lakota words as abysmally wrong as possible

We'll add that to the Updated (Rainbow Tribe) Edition and score even more cash!

Offline E.P. Grondine

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    • Man and Impact in the Americas
Re: Since this is NAFPS
« Reply #5 on: October 03, 2012, 05:07:34 pm »
Hi Laurel - Great start!  ;D

It does need chapters on "Providing Guidance (to your Pocket)" and "Building your Sweat Lodge and Conducting Sweats' before "Conducting your own Sundance".

Also "A Guide to Tanning Products and Hair Dyes" needs to be added to "Creating Your Costume".

One appendix on federal law, one on state law (with recommendations on ways to avoid "complications" with both), and another on "Europe" (when to go there).

I think "Identifying your Target Market/Building your Personna" would be good.
Also advice on "Practice, and When to Move to a New Area".

By the way, as no one reads too much anymore, maybe a video would work.
Hell, you tube segments tied together with an index. It is the age of the internet, after all.
Someone could even lift examples/photos from the net. Simple "Do's" and Don'ts"

In the meantime, I rely on your fine writing skills for the exact wording. I myself inherited this strange sense of humor, while I see you've studied with Ty Ming.