Author Topic: Nuagespeak to Plain English Dictionary  (Read 54453 times)

Offline educatedindian

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Nuagespeak to Plain English Dictionary
« on: March 22, 2005, 10:11:57 pm »
Add your suggegtions everyone. And you'll received credit for anything that winds up in the book.

Nuagespeak to Plain English Dictionary (Including Spelling Dictionary)

“Give???- 1) Using force, theft, or threats. 2) Receiving stolen goods.
As in, “The Lakota people gave us the sweat lodge for all to use,??? when they really mean, “Our white shaman pipe carrier told us not to listen to Native protests, and if you don’t shut up we’ll sue you to try and silence you!???

“Harmony???- 1) Mindless unquestioning obedience. 2) Censorship, a refusal to allow any questions which are not sufficiently brownnosing enough.
As in, “We must keep good group harmony,??? when they really mean, “Don’t you dare point out our blond blue-eyed white woman from New Jersey is not a reincarnated Cherokee Mayan crystal skull caretaker like she claims!???

“Hate???-Criticism or disagreement.
A typical exchange:
Native: “I don’t think it’s right for you to exploit our beliefs. Our ways are not for sale.???
Nuager (fumes and foams at the mouth, cannot think or gets words out, then finally explodes): “YOU ARE JUST FULL OF HATE YOU RED NAZI SAVAGE! Why don‘t you want to share this with us?! You should just evolve, adapt your primitive ways, help us save the planet, help us promote harmony and understanding, etc. OTHERWISE YOU‘RE JUST FULL OF HATE!???

“Pathetic???-See “Unhappy.???

“Racist???-Anyone who disagrees with Nuage exploitation of Natives. Said most often and most fervently by those who have never experienced actual racism.

“Shaman???- 1) Anyone who sets themselves up as a dispenser of allegedly sacred ceremonies for profit to a clueless upper middle class white suburbanite market. Usually trained in a “lengthy??? or “advanced??? weekend seminar by a similar dispenser of allegedly sacred ceremonies for profit. 2) An attempt to claim that indigenous healers who train for decades to selflessly serve their own communities are somehow the same as dispensers of dubious ceremonies for profit to clueless upper middle class white suburbanites.

“Sharing“-Stealing, taking, or theft.
As in, “We are sharing these wonderful Native ceremonies,??? when they actually mean, “We have taken these ceremonies without asking Native people’s permission and in spite of repeated requests to stop, and we are so self involved, we would not stop no matter what anyone says.???

“Unhappy???-A claim that is a favorite personal attack tactic of Nuagers, based on the flimsiest attempts at pop psychology diagnosis, used against any critic of Nuage, and often projecting their own inner turmoil onto the critic.
As in, “You must be a very pathetic, unhappy individual to criticize my shamanistic pipe keeper Chief Silly Name. Before I met him I was alcoholic and suicidal because I found out I was dying from cancer.???

Spelling Dictionary
Most of these Nuage “creative spellings??? are attempts to sound or appear more authentic by appealing to stereotypes of Natives as mysterious or archaic.
Aztekah- Aztec, Azteca, or Mexican
Inka- Inca
Mexikah- Mexica, Mexican, or Aztec
Tsalagi-Cherokee (OK, here’s where I’d like some Cherokee input about how Nuagers use Tsalagi instead of Cherokee.)

Offline JosephSWM

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Re: Nuagespeak to Plain English Dictionary
« Reply #1 on: March 23, 2005, 03:06:37 am »
Ah Cherokee input. Now Vance you correct me if I am wrong. A dead giveaway for a name a person has chosen for themselves is, well let me use an example. "Little Wolf". Usid is 'little' in Cherokee, wayha is 'wolf'. If I see Usdi Wayha I figure they gave themselves the name. The descriptive comes after the noun and the name should really be Wayha Usdi.

I hear nuagers say I am ani-tsalagi. If I am not mistaken that would actually mean I am the Cherokee people. But you know we never called ourselves Tsalagi anyway.

I know am I am straying off the topic but I like all the various ways of pronouncing hello in Cherokee that they come up with. Oh-say-you, Oh shee, yo, Oh show, say-yo.

Another side note, when I hear nuagers that claim to be Cherokee they talk in, I think its the thrid person. Instead of saying "My people use to do this or that..." they say "The Cherokee people use to do this or that..."

And someone using the porper name "Aniyuwiya" does not mean a thing since Diane Fisher did her homewrok well enough to know that one.

I will think some more Al, but I bet Vance will have some input.

Joseph

Offline JosephSWM

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Re: Nuagespeak to Plain English Dictionary
« Reply #2 on: March 23, 2005, 03:11:02 am »
Here are some other words that I love. 'matrix' as in energy matrix and energy grids etc. "Past Life Regression" as in I was an Indian in a past life so I have the right to steal your ways or there are not enough Indians for all the spirits of Indians to come back into so they are coming back into white bodies this time around.

Joseph

Offline Barnaby_McEwan

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Re: Nuagespeak to Plain English Dictionary
« Reply #3 on: March 23, 2005, 04:55:38 pm »
Quote
Here are some other words that I love. 'matrix' as in energy matrix and energy grids etc.


How about this for 'energy'?

Energy: subjective feeling or perception mistaken for external force or principle eg 'Mmmm, yeah, there were some really good energies in the sweatlodge last night.'

'This chunk of quartz I paid two hundred dollars for channels extremely powerful energies from the star-beings.'

Often said to critics: 'I'm feeling some really dark energies from you!' (That is, 'You popped my bliss-bubble! Oh no, painful reality is intruding! Ouch! Help!')

Another newage usage: 'Money's just an energy'. (That is, 'I want your money').

Note: when used by newagers, 'energy' is the least favourite word of British actor/playright/comedian/novelist/national treasure Stephen Fry:

Q: You have a great command of language, but which are your least favourite words and why?

A: 'Hopefully' and 'disinterested' are nearly always used wrongly and, although it's silly to be pedantic, it annoys me. But the worst is 'energy' when used in a meaningless, new-age sort of way, as in 'positive energy' and all that arse-wallop.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/norfolk/features/stephen_fry_questions.shtml
« Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 12:00:00 am by Barnaby_McEwan »

Offline Barnaby_McEwan

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Re: Nuagespeak to Plain English Dictionary
« Reply #4 on: March 24, 2005, 09:40:39 am »
Nuagespeak: 'The Universe will provide'. Often intoned piously by hopelessly deluded nuager unable to afford spiralling dope habit (see 'Teaching Plants').

Plain English: someone else will provide.
« Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 12:00:00 am by Barnaby_McEwan »

Offline Barnaby_McEwan

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Re: Nuagespeak to Plain English Dictionary
« Reply #5 on: March 24, 2005, 09:52:24 am »
Positive/negative.

Anything that helps a newager feel better about her/himself is thought of as positive. Therefore books, 'workshops' and so on which confirm a newager's beliefs about the world and her/his place in it are categorised as 'positive' experiences.

Conversely, anything which makes a newager feel uncomfortable, such as the presence of people who are able to think rationally, is thought of as negative. This is a favourite rhetorical device of the newager when replying to critics: 'You're being really negative!'

Offline Barnaby_McEwan

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Re: Nuagespeak to Plain English Dictionary
« Reply #6 on: March 24, 2005, 05:44:20 pm »
Nuagespeak: 'shamanic'.
Plain English; 'spiritual' (in the way that the Beatles were spiritual, not the way that Augustine of Hippo was spiritual).

Common new age usage: 'shamanic journey'.
Plain English: '... a trip to a great Non Ordinary Mall filled with spirits as eager as salesclerks to assist allcomers.' (Kehoe, Alice Beck. Shamans and Religion: An Anthropological Exercise in Critical Thinking. Prospect Heights, Illinois: Waveland Press. 2000. ISBN: 1-57766-162-1. p. 87)

Nuagespeak: 'workshop'.
Plain English: a semi-formal seminar or tutorial where nuagers exchange money for the chance to feel 'spiritual'. Borrowed from the acting profession: nothing at all to do with producing useful material goods. Anthropologist Galina Lindquist described a shamanism workshop thus:

'...an exercise in virtual reality like a number of similar others in the post-modern world. Notable examples are Internet dating, Dungeons-and-Dragons role playing, Living History performances, and psychotherapeutic seances, to name just a few.' (Lindquist, Galina. Shamanic Performances on the Urban Scene; Neo-Shamanism in Contemporary Sweden. Stockholm: Stockholm (University) Studies in Social Anthropology, 39. 1997. ISBN 91-7153-691-4. p. 121)

Nuagespeak: 'teaching plants'.
Plain English: drugs, especially marijuana, peyote and hallucinogenic mushrooms.
« Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 12:00:00 am by Barnaby_McEwan »

Offline educatedindian

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Re: Nuagespeak to Plain English Dictionary
« Reply #7 on: March 24, 2005, 07:00:13 pm »
You beat me to a couple of em Barnaby. Here's my newest ones.

“Being Positive???- 1) Living in a state of willful blindness or delusion. 2) Censorship of all criticism which is contrary to living in a state of willful blindness or delusion.
As in, “You are not letting our online ’tribe’ be positive when you point out Robert Ghostwolf is a convicted con man from New Jersey, not an Indian. So we‘re kicking you out and censoring everything you wrote.???

“Earth Astrology???- Believing that a faux system with stereotyped “Indian names??? for months is somehow Native, and not European with pseudo-Native names tacked on.  

“Elder???- 1) Anyone old who will indulge the fantasies of clueless upper middle class white suburbanites for profit. 2) Confusing “elder??? with “elderly.???

“Evolved???- The racist claim of Nuagers that their haphazard collection of bits and pieces of indigenous beliefs mixed with “Noble Savage??? stereotypes are somehow a “more advanced??? version of Native spirituality.

“Judging???-Using common sense, reasoning, or facts. Meant as an insult or putdown to imply thinking is something that only mean spirited people do, or used to defend their own ignorance and gullibility.
As in, “I don’t judge like you do,??? meaning, “I don’t use common sense, reasoning, or facts, that‘s something only mean people do.??? Or as in, “Don’t you dare judge me because I believe Atlantis, UFOs, and the Bulgarian Dance of Life are really Cherokee traditions!???

“Power Animal???- The Nuage version of an imaginary friend. Misunderstanding Native beliefs in animal spirits as guides, Nuagers diminish the practice into silly fantasy role-playing. Naturally Nuagers never choose insect, small animals, or non-cute animals, and even will choose non-existent animals such as dragons or unicorns.

“Rainbow Prophecies??? or “Rainbow Ways“- Assimilation of Native cultures, people, and spirituality into white/Anglo/western society disguised as diversity or tolerance.

“Totem???- See “Power Animal.??? Actual Native totems can be either tattoos or the famous totem poles of Northwest Coast cultures.

“Tribe???- 1) A Nuage cult gathered around a domineering leader whose main concerns are power and profit. 2) A loose gathering of unrelated Nuagers, pagans, or wannabes with no common  descent, heritage, or sacred homelands who kid themselves that wanting to be a tribe somehow makes you a tribe.

“Warrior???-  A clueless Castaneda cult member who does Tai Chi exercises with pseudo-Mayan names.

“Way of a Warrior“- Believing that being a clueless Castaneda cult member doing Tai Chi exercises with pseudo-Mayan names somehow makes you a “warrior.???

Offline debbieredbear

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Re: Nuagespeak to Plain English Dictionary
« Reply #8 on: March 24, 2005, 11:10:25 pm »
You guys crack me up. Did I mention that my Power Animal is the Pomeranian?

TrishaRoseJacobs

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Re: Nuagespeak to Plain English Dictionary
« Reply #9 on: March 25, 2005, 07:05:54 am »
Here's one I'm tired of hearing -

"Cherokee Princes" 1) a fictatous woman used often by New Agers and other racists to justify their demands. As in "My great great grandpa was a Cherokee Pincess so I have the right to say and take whatever I want."
« Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 12:00:00 am by TrishaRoseJacobs »

Offline JosephSWM

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Re: Nuagespeak to Plain English Dictionary
« Reply #10 on: March 25, 2005, 11:27:46 am »
Here's a good comeback line to the Cherokee princess statement. "We have a Cherokee princess in the family too but we don't like to talk about him".

Joseph
« Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 12:00:00 am by JosephSWM »

TrishaRoseJacobs

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Re: Nuagespeak to Plain English Dictionary
« Reply #11 on: March 25, 2005, 12:47:06 pm »
lmao

:D

Offline vikinglady

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Re: Nuagespeak to Plain English Dictionary
« Reply #12 on: March 25, 2005, 01:09:56 pm »
The word "respect" should be on the list.
(I don´t know all the fancy English words, so you´ll have to rephrase it...:)  )

"We have to show eachother respect, after all, we´re one big family - Mitakuye Oyasin"
Meaning: "All yours is mine!" (Usually doesn´t work the other way round)

"Energy" - which you´ve already mentioned - is definitely number one over here! Could also be used as a defense: "There were really bad energies yesterday!"
Meaning: "I am totally NOT responsible for anything I do or say!"

The number one reply if you try to tell them off : "But it feels good for ME!"
Meaning: ...and I don´t care a damn how it feels for you/for Natives.

Suggestions for a follow-up book: comments you hear when selling craft!  Especially on the topic: "How to empty a dreamcatcher!" (They do get full - did you know?
Best one from yesterday´s market was the woman who had been told that, in order to empty her DC, she has to stick her forefinger through the hole and keep it there for 30 minutes.

I just got this vivid picture of lots of Nuagers running around with dreamcatchers stuck to their forefingers....;D

Annika


Offline educatedindian

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Re: Nuagespeak to Plain English Dictionary
« Reply #13 on: March 25, 2005, 03:19:03 pm »
Around here, the number one power animal is the pit bull. Esp in the poorer neighborhoods, it's a cheap burglar deterrent.

More:

"Accepting"- 1) Believing what anyone says, no matter how offensive, racist, abusive, or exploitative. 2) Allowing anything, no matter how offensive, racist, abusive, or exploitative.

"Metis"- When a Nuager claims some kind of distant Indian ancestry, but doesn't want to be around actual Indians because he knows his Nuage ways won't be accepted.

And of course I'll need to include a footnote explaining who the actual Metis are.

"Part Apache"- A claim made usually by very fair skinned, fair haired Anglos whose families never lived anywhere near the Southwest. See Penny McKelvey/"Oshinnah Fastwolf".

"Sacred Sex"- The Nuage way of appeasing guilt over sex by charging gullible people money to do it in the context of a ceremony of dubious origin. Usuallly includes less socially accepted sexual practices like homsexuality/bisexuality, self-sodomy/wanking, and downright deviant practices like chickenhawking/pedophilia.

"Twinkie"- If a Nuager is offended by this humorous mildly teasing term being used to describe them, chances are they ARE a Twinkie.

Offline Barnaby_McEwan

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Re: Nuagespeak to Plain English Dictionary
« Reply #14 on: March 25, 2005, 04:11:16 pm »
Quote
"We have a Cherokee princess in the family too but we don't like to talk about him".


*snort*

Where's Mibby? I bet he's got some gems.