Moma I don't mind answering that at all.
I lived with my husband on the Blood Reserve for eight years. We have three children together. It was our home. Our oldest son is living there now and watches over the Sundance grounds there. When my car is working or when I can get a ride, I and our other sons visit. I swet there when I can. I go and help my son. Our boys play video games like every other kid here on the rez! I walk along the river and take out garbage, chaise the cows away from the holy grounds, I clean and smudge, I pray, I use the toilet and wash the dishes, I cook a meal...how's that? We are human beings here. Which reminds me, I wanted to address a comment made about Pablos community and family being 'against him'. I will do that when I am finished with this.
Some people you connect with, some you don't, some are close one day and not the next. Some hate you without even knowing you , I'm white it is a given that someone here is going to hate me...is that what you're getting at?There are people in this community I dearly love and respect and I also know that there are people here that love and respect me also. I don't need to take a survey! Life is life, people are people. There is a whole community of off rez families and extended families here in Lethbridge where we live right now. I have friends here that are native and non-native and married into and have children who are band members as do I, I have friends of all different lineages and beliefs. I grew up in Toronto and Ottawa. My dad was from here. My life is on the table. I am a visual artist we are used to putting ourselves out there on the line! I was the wife of a leader and I know that life too. I opened the door in the middle of the night and cooked meals for people, served others first before my own children, listened, comforted, gave. I still do those things.
I am not a band member. I was married after Bill C 32. Yes I know what that is. I supported it, I signed a petition, I prayed, I helped with awareness to the bill and most importantly...I listened and learned about it. Are you in Canada? Are you aware of Bill C-32. Oh that's right, you haven't said who you are. Well, I believe that the love and tie of family is more powerful than any Colonially imposed technical hoops people have to jump through to navigate things here! There are bars around First Nations communities historically, politically, economically and symbolically speaking. Self determination is hindered by a lot of things. I didn't just drop into this community either. I was an activist supporting the Native rights movement. I still support it. As a Canadain of British decent I stepped up to the plate when other non-natives hid from the truth of their histories here in North America. I am almost fifty one years old and I am still a very political person. Just being a human being is political. Also my great grandfather had friends in this community when he came west as a new immegrant from Scotland.
Families fight by the way. That is what we are, family. We fight, we disagree, we can get really pissed off at each other even shun one another for a while but we are still connected. I will always be on the one hand an outsider and on the other... this community is home to me whether I live here or not my heart is here. Whether I get mad at my sister in law or her at me, or I get snubbed by one person or hugged by another. What is it to you?!!!!
It is not normal for ex-wives to be listed in obituaries here. That has nothing to do with bonds to community or family. Marital relations and divorce issues are fairly universal and do not reflect my feelings for the Blood Tribe community. I feel as part of that community today more than ever.
I speak for myself, I speak for our younger children when I need to, but they speak for themselves most of the time. Unlike you, I have the courage to put may real name here. I don't mean to be rude, but that speakes to authenticity .
My ex-husband and I made our peace before he passed away. That should be good enough for anyone. Other than that, the rest is our personal business. Up to a point, I would say the same for these issues we have been discussing here regarding other people. I got involved in these discussions because by association, our Sundance, my ex-husband and now my sons are being dragged through the mud because of alogations of exploitation and inapporpriate behaviors directed at Pablo Russel. Pablo is a relative and a leader in this community, he is part of m,y extended family if you want it in technical talk!
As a parent, extended family and as a member of our Sundance community I have a right to address that. As a non-native dedicated to what I have been blessed with I feel a sense of responsibility to be active regarding awareness of the issues discussed here that I have experience with or some awareness of when it looks like it would be helpful.
As a human being, I feel a sense of responsibility to address issues of racism, abuse, dishonesty and so forth, regarding life generally as a socially conscious being. I have never thrown my wieght around but I do speak up when I feel the need as I do right now. I am well aware that I am not a perfect human being either and I do not out myself on a pedistal! I am not above anyone else nor am I a doormat for people to whipe their feet on.
As to what JJ said about Pablo's family and community being against him and the reply to that about that saying something about who he is I will say this...family fight, family disagree, family do a lot of things good and not so good! Our family relationships our ours to deal with!!!!! We don't have to be the way you want us to be or meet your needs for perfection. That is not what these teachings you have engaged in are about! How is your family and community situation? Tell me all about it, all the details...really.
Pablos parents are not against him! They know their son is a human being! I am sure they know their son better than any of us! His parents Sundanced, they still do. They are leaders in this comunity! They are also members of a holy society and very well loved and respected. I danced with them! One of Pablos sons is a friend of one of my sons! Get over it! Is that enough now? Are you the judge and jury of everyones personal journey?
You guys come to all sorts of black and white opinions and based on what? Next to nothing. Is Pablo falling? Maybe! I don't know! Talk to Pablo! He is capable of speaking for himself.
This community is full of people and their disagreements! So what! Does it pertain to this discussion? NO! That just tells me you guys are the outsiders. But I will tell you one thing, this community is tough and has great heart! I am honoured to be part of it in my own unique way, not as a wanna be, but as family,as a human being who isn't in it for what she can get, but for what is real and I am no push over either. There is a reason my husband and I loved one another so much, even though our marriage failed. I planned to get divorced...come on....wake up.
So stick to the subject or come here and see for yourself who we are before you take the conversation to a lower level. As I said before, if there is a problem it will be delbt with by the Creator, the grandfathers, Pablo himself perhaps. And, I again appaulogise on my behalf for any trouble that has been caused and I hope and pray that things will come right again.
That is the goal isn't it? To heal, to honour, to understand and to protect not by being destructive but by walking our talk? Or is it about slapping people down? People fall, anyone can fall, it is more important that they , we, get up when we fall than the fact that we have fallen. If we even fell at all. Maybe we were learning.
Morris carried this Sundance with courage, strength, comminttment, integrity...he was a great leader...he was a man, just a man and he was not perfect but he dedicated his life to this being here and continued on. Now, it is our son having to grow into his shoes. Mothers protect there sons. I feel that same sense of protection towards Pablo too whether he has done right or wrong!
So, before I say somthing I regret, I will leave this. I am not cutting you off...I am actually in the process of moving and this has been really upsetting to me. I am sick with a bad cold right now too. Oh poor little meee. LOL! Perhaps I should not have entered this discussion while I am not feeling well. I hope this all resolves itself in a good way.
Peace.
