General > Research Needed
"Native American Church" Strawberry Plains TN, Jerry Dills AKA Peshewa
ten-skey:
Mr E.P. Grondine : Wada for Your words . A True brother ( regardless of color or origin) speaks from the heart . Spirit moved You to do such ! Ten-skey
ten-skey:
Always ,Remember, Dills And All the East of the Mississippi River Shawnee ARE split offs of Jerry Popes group ( U.R.B.) . Said group LOST its Federal Legal case to being Indian / Indigenous ( Interiors Arts and Crafts board ). they Refuse Any other type of Recognition ( As a WHITEMAN I Say I AM A INDIAN -White makes right ). Their " Famed / Framed " Resolution from Ohio ( Pope Was born, raised in Indiana ) STATES they ARE desendents (AT best , fore THEY STATE their leadership at that time WAS Mosty Wannabees ) . AT the time of the resolution They went to Ohio's BLACK leadership - Ohio's M.L.K. and ranted how they were abused Indians , yet this rant took two years to get any result - desendancy status to 1/16 . Ten-skey
Lookstwice:
I am another of Doc's apprentices. I have been in contact with Clearwater thru IM's, and I understand he has shared some of that with others so I'm not totally unknown to some of you. I want to tell my story of my time with Doc for my benefit as well as to give an alternate view of him. Alternate because I wasn't privy to a lot of what has been shared here except thru the accounts told to me both then and now. Alternate because of the way I looked at the situation and how that came to change in me causing me to leave the company of the PeSheWa clan. I still have a hard time thinking of Doc as Jerry even tho I often heard his wives and Tom and Steve call him by that name. So I'll probably be calling him Doc thru all my posts...
When I met Doc at Indian Bingo in Spartanburg, SC I was in very bad shape. I think I sound overly dramatic if I say I was near death. So I'll just stick with "in bad shape" for now. Although the dramatic is closer to the truth. This meeting was the beginning of an incredible period in my life and I still treasure it in many ways. I compartmentalize to be able to... because it ended being such a disappointment. And I was made to feel that I was the disappointment.
I'm disappointed in myself in a lot of ways because the esoteric knowledge I believed I'd received from Doc the shaman Doc the priest should have set me free and kept me free from the trap of this dominant culture that is slowly killing me thru sapping me of life. I was so exhausted when I got off work today I thought I'd never be able to write anything coherent (a Doc word there). And I feel very defensive. I imagine the possible derision and even attacks I might have coming. Or simply an inquiry to explain myself and what is meant by "knowledge". Or even a psyche-profile of how deluded I must be, etc. These states of mind are a part of me and they are exhausting. So you see how bad it is (some of it). And yet I can now hold a job where I couldn't before and have a relationship where I couldn't before. So you see how good it is (some of it). I think I'm trying to say, "How do you measure a healing?"
OK, I'm rambling. One quote I thought I'd share in the vein of esoteric knowledge: Doc said to me at one of our "Tea times" we had in Tennessee, "I ain't everybody's cup of tea." (he said that often), "and I ain't no Bobby Drinnon!" I just smiled at him and said I had no idea who that was. Many years later I had the good fortune to meet Bobby. He is considered to be a genuine psychic by many and lives in East Tennessee. He is an amazing person, and he and Doc are like light and dark, day and night. But there was the same dispassionate spirit in both of them. The same extra-heaping-helping of wakan, I AM, what I think of as LIFE. They just expressed it differently according to their different morals and personal bias. This is something I want to explore here if allowed because that was the part of Doc that mattered to me. That sense of Other that inhabited him, or at least his words. I've thought it sociopathic at times because of the difference in moral restraint.
I might be looking like the devil's advocate right now (except for that last statement in previous paragraph), but I'm truly trying to follow my heart as Clearwater suggested. Be patient with me. I know about Indian time too.
critter - a white non-ndn person:
I don't think anyone's going to attack you here. There's always good and bad and sifting it through is just part of the decompression.. or healing process if you prefer. Life is hard, we deal with it in best we can.. and then later, deal with how we dealt with it. ;)
clearwater:
It's funny I only knew Jerry as Jerry. Others started calling him "Doc" a few years after I met him in 1978. Jerry had a way of moving consciousness with words, and of course pot and peyote and other halucinogens helped with that too. I would not have stayed with Jerry for 11 years if it were all bad. But it took me 11 years to learn that Jerry was what he himself referred to as a "vampire" -- someone who sucks the life energy from others. If you look at those around Jerry, they either prop him up with their energy and personal knowledge of him and his ways, thereby giving him crfedibility, or they are people Jerry has elected to "help" unscrew their heads if, and only if, they served him in return. It's an unspoken understanding but one that Jerry solicits wihtout question, in my opinion. I've seen too much to know otherwise. Take a look at those close to Jerry and will will not really find spiritually self acualized people. The only two folks I knew who knew Jerry who were spirutually aware and unencumbered by him were Rossi (who you have told me you met) and a teacher I'll simply call Anand, as east Indian who taught metaphysics at University of TN. Both are deceased. But in life they did not tolerate much of Jerry's bull, although they did interact with the good that was there. But both told me of Jerry and his ways and helped me see my experience from a different perspective. In my 11 years with Jerry, I witnessed, first hand, a string of people used and discarded by him when they no longer served his purpose or if they questioned him or his methods, or if they grew beyond his ability to control them. Anyway, I feel I have dominated this thread too much as it is, I just wanted to comment on the idea that there may be some good that came out of your experience. Very little in life is all-or-nothing, an absolute. Jerry could not continue to play with darkness if he didn't dabble with truth.
I look forward to your story unfolding, good, not so good, the pretty and the ugly, and I'll shut up now. There will be little I can add to your story and I can learn something from you. I know how deep this is for you and respect your sharing this part of yourself.
clearwater
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