Author Topic: Respectful questions/NON spiritual  (Read 3870 times)

Offline non-NDN

  • Posts: 21
Respectful questions/NON spiritual
« on: October 03, 2011, 03:10:28 pm »
Hey there folks ;-)

As a cultural outsider it can be difficult to know or intuit forms of address or approach that are acceptible to Native/First Nations peoples or their protocols; please view my questions as those of an utter outsider who doesnt know how protocol or accepted cultural milieus of politeness dictate introductory behaviour (Ive read a bunch of statements on here regarding speaking too loudly, making/holding rude eye contact, and fantastic statements of how people expect to be addressed in person in many posts in the archives, but there is little anywhere about online contact or the questions I'll post below... so I thought I'd ask here in Etcetera ;) )

Are there respectful or accepted ways to ask people about NON-spiritual topics regarding Native ancestry or modern feelings of race in society?

Ive got my faith, and Ive got my ancestry, which is good enough for me... I'll admit curiosity about spiritual matters from a comparitive standpoint, but I admit that with the free and total understanding that the best Im going to get in that department is the chance to read through archives like I find here and quietly compare how different individuals respond to different topics. I also admit that with the full knowledge that I just cant ask; its very obvious that there is a HUGE amount of history proving cultural rape, appropriation, and fools selling that which shouldnt be sold, so I do not ask... I just read the archives here and, at least online and on facebook, find myself constantly referring people to these archives when asked about different spiritual "leaders" or sham artists as I find that better than trying to speak for anyone.

But... from the perspective of an outsider (who plans on staying exactly who and what he is), I often wonder about how, if it's at all possible, to ask about what its like today for First Nations people intersecting with the society outside of their communities and nations? Especially as a way of understanding what in my own behaviour I might not even realize to be inherently rude or seemingly racist, or how to understand more of the flaws in the way my society brings people up or creates problems in OUR cultural interactions with First Nations people.

Are there books out there, buried in the staggering frauds and appropriators, that give an accurate picture of areas that need attention between our cultures?
How does one avoid the trite white-colonialist-guilt avatar-esque film thing?
Are there respectful ways to approach that dont come across as charity-case-"I do this for the warm fuzzy" when it comes to areas like this?
Are there respectful ways to ask about issues of/figure out how to change prejudices based on cultural or racial priviledge? On an individual or societal level?

How would you respond to someone curious about non-saleable aspects of your culture/s and how their own has its tendency to warp what it touches?
Where would you send someone for such material if you could?

Thank you for your AMAZING forum, and for your time
« Last Edit: December 08, 2012, 04:34:39 am by non-NDN »

Offline non-NDN

  • Posts: 21
Re: Respectful questions/NON spiritual
« Reply #1 on: October 03, 2011, 03:24:30 pm »
And yes, I *fully* understand feelings of reluctance or trepidation... topics like http://www.newagefraud.org/smf/index.php?topic=3043.0 (another of the flip out posts of someone not liking that their entheogen-drug trip workshop advertisement spam showed their entitlement complexes more than they wanted) explain that VERY well. ;)

Offline nativemetalgrl

  • Posts: 3
Re: Respectful questions/NON spiritual
« Reply #2 on: December 27, 2011, 09:00:42 pm »
Most Natives I know, myself included are happy to share our perspective as natives living in the modern world. 
I really wouldn't suggest books since they are generally heavily edited and don't accurately portray the everyday issues that face the indigenous population today.
As far as protocol goes, it varies depending on tribe, community, event, etc.  Many tribes have information regarding proper etiquitte for visitors published on their websites. 
There are over 550 tribes in this country, each with distinctly different cultures, customs and languages, so there won't really be any one answer, however, I find that common courtesy, common sense and the good ol' Golden Rule (treat others as you'd like to be treated) can take you a long way. 
We all have our own culture.  Think of how you'd want someone to approach you if they had those same questions about your heritage and experiences. 
I know there can be a lot of haters on these forums and I do applaud your putting yourself out there.  Many natives are reluctant to answer questions from non natives because we've been burned so many times before, however your questions don't seem to deal with tradition or culture, so I don't see how anyone would get too bothered by them.  I, for one, always appreciate it when non natives ask respectfully what they can do to help improve the relationship between our peoples. 
I'm only speaking for myself, so here goes. 
The biggest problems I face out in the "modern world" is the fact natives are still seen as some kind of novelty.  Nobody ever just comes up and says "hi" and just talks to us like we're regular people.   They always talk about their Cherokee great grandmother or start right in asking a bunch of questions about our culture or hair or clothing.  Other people get to talk about music, movies, news, family.. they get to crack a joke or two, go have coffee, check out a metal show or whatever.  Natives are always expected to talk only about culture and to despense "wisdom."  So, in my experience, the best thing to do when you meet a Native person is to treat them like any other potential friend.  Ask them what you'd ask any other person.  I, for one, get tired of being treated like a research subject.  There's so much more to me than my heritage.  I'm a musician, artist, mom, fiance, comedian, smartass, calligrapher, comic book enthusiast, nerd, geek, dork, cat lover, horror writer, goth, metalhead girl with just as many facets, interests and hobbies as any of my non native friends.  While I am proud to be Native, that doesn't begin to define me as a person. 
When we can step outside of our "race" and learn to appreciate ALL the facets that make us who we are, we open ourselves to discover the interests, passions, hobbies and experiences we share instead of the skin color we may not.
I hope this helps.  :-)

Offline earthw7

  • Posts: 1415
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Re: Respectful questions/NON spiritual
« Reply #3 on: December 29, 2011, 05:05:47 pm »
I would say just ask, when you are talking to an elder from my nation it is proper to give tobacco or
a gifts something small but for many of us all you have to do is ask. I do the history and genealogy for my tribe
and i get asked question all day long.
In Spirit