when I made mention that6 I had called tribal offices out in porcupine... it wasn't for the purpose of genealogical research .
it was with the question "what does a person do in the case of this that and a third?" it had to do with me seeking spiritual help and guidance......for the things that have been plaguing me most of my life .....I was looking for the ceremony or ceremonies " that might help me out ....based on what my grandmother told me and feeling there might be a connection between this tribe my grandmother mentioned and the ones just across the river ,,,,,that we were somehow some watered down racially mixed version of the peoples out west......I can see how ceremony could be killed off in the east.....the religion and way is a bottle of Heineken and a fat bag o smoke.....but me
I wanted better than that....so an elder from a porcupine suggested I start reading up on hehaka Sapa....and I did.....and I was shocked and amazed by what I had learned....being from an eastern faith formerly.....it fell short for me ....I realized that the best model for a man was in black elk and realized there was no need for me to follow some faith from over seas ,,,,when I had an example to follow right here in my own back yard ...the more I read the more I began to realize that these men were "real men" what we call back home in nyc " A Mans MAn".....I figure it was also a way for me to figure out how to "walk the way I talk " and be able to back it up and keeping it real.......I also found that all those things that those elders were granted were actually designed to help "reset" peoples minds and hearts for people whos cases are identical to mine....... Trauma alters brain wave patterns and abnormalizes them....hence that disconnected feeling whenever I go somewhere in nature and feeling like im floating all over and not feeling grounded and connected to ina maka ...I began to believe strongly that those sacred rites that black elk was talking about would reconnect me to the those energies in the earth.......no magic wand ...no magic potion....nothing spooky or mysterious .....just plain old "good orderly direction" but so far what im getting here is if my blood quantum aint enough or if I aint got no blood at all im basically screwed and unable to put into effect what was left by the beloved elder....how will I ever know if I don't get a chance to find out......
??
what if its true??? and there is a thing called OHM 'S in the earth and the very electricity in our own bodies plays a part in that wellness and feeling connected again
? according to a reliable source its that very same "deeply embedded genetic depression" that's keeping us from getting along and seeing eye to eye to begin with.......
I don't wanna understand any of it in theory .... I wanna live it ....blood or no..... u just might be that life line or that oxygen tank I need to save my own soul ...if you don't mind me saying so candidly......im about winning and overcoming that beast in me that's robbed me of all the good in my life.........yeah everybody gotta sob story and all that...
but you aint grow up in the Bronx in the seventies eighties and nineties.......it was pure hell and a lot of us didn't make it out..... any soul will fight and seek and try over and over again until its free from all the fetters and whatever chains it....
I only have the one life and its given to me on loan by the creator and one day its gonna be called back and its my responsibility to take that gift back in the best condition possible.........
what did you do when your brother asked for help?