NAFPS Forum

General => Non-Frauds => Topic started by: RedRightHand on April 17, 2009, 09:44:21 pm

Title: Identifying the Predator: Spiritual, Financial, and Sexual Abusers
Post by: RedRightHand on April 17, 2009, 09:44:21 pm
Identifying the Predator: Spiritual, Financial, and Sexual Abusers

There are common traits, common behaviors in human predators of all kinds. Spiritual scammers often operate the same way and use the same methods as other types of criminal con artists, batterers, and rapists. These different kinds of abuse often blend into each other.

A liar doesn’t just tell falsehoods/lies to strangers or only in certain situations. A liar routinely lies to everyone. In the same way, a spiritual fraud is not just a spiritual liar. He or she will always lie about other things as well.

Understanding these patterns of deceit among abusers and rapists gives us direct insight into the patterns of spiritual frauds. The following points are offered specifically about the patterns of physical abusers but the parallels to spiritual exploiters should be clear. The aim of this post is to help people in spotting frauds before they can do harm, and to help those who have been harmed find help.

1.   Abusers are charming and tend to be very skilled at social manipulation.
2.   They are skilled liars. They will also declare they are very honest and honorable but their actual actions will show otherwise.
3.   They are in control of their actions, not out-of-control. They do not harm everyone they meet. They are very careful to abuse people they feel confident they can get away with harming, such as wives/girlfriends, children, “apprentices,” or those they are “instructing” ceremonially. Substance abuse may increase their aggression but you should never accept being high/drunk as an excuse for their actions. They are far more in control of their actions than they let on and they also harm their victims when sober.
4.   They blame others for their behavior. “The abuser shifts responsibility for his actions away from himself and onto others, a shift that allows him to justify his abuse because the other person supposedly "caused" his behavior.” The fact is, abusing another person is a choice. It is the fault of no one but the abuser.
5.   While “friends” and acquaintances will be subjected to manipulation, lies and sometimes emotional abuse, usually only the abuser’s intimate partners and immediate family will see the monstrous side of them. Abusers are very invested in their public image, and will use acquaintances to lie for them and/or pass on their lies in their defense. They will spend a great deal of time lying to non-intimate “friends” to lay a false trail of misdirection and alibis. On the internet and in long-distance phone calls, it is particularly easy for abusers to construct a good front for their online friends who may never meet them in person.
6.   Abusers specialize in finding out your vulnerabilities. In the beginning they will tell you how special you are. They will encourage you to confess your fears and vulnerabilities, and they will make a good show of being vulnerable themselves (even though it is just an act and built on lies). They do this to make you emotionally dependent on them, and so later they can use these things to harm and manipulate you.
7.   They will seem too good to be true. And they are.

There is a common misconception that predators and abusers are easy to spot, that they display obvious signs of their predatory nature. While there are warning signs to look out for (linked below), predators have carefully tailored their disguises through their years of abusing others and getting away with it.

If predators weren’t skilled at convincing potential victims and supporters that they’re a nice guy (and those who commit physical abuse are overwhelmingly male), they wouldn’t be successful at what they do. They’ve learned how to fool and manipulate people. It’s their profession. If they weren’t good at fooling people, they would have moved on to some other way of making a living by now. By the time an abuser is middle-aged or elderly, they are very experienced at it; they are not going to change.

Abusive behavior usually starts after the victim has made an emotional, spiritual, and/or financial commitment to the predator. Abuse usually starts right after some milestone: moving in together, getting married, pregnancy, or the birth of the first child. With spiritual predators, it’s often once the victim has made a ceremonial commitment and/or given the predator a large amount of money. Once that investment on the part of the victim is there, the predator knows the victim will be hesitant to throw away all that time and effort they’ve invested in the relationship. By that point the abuser has probably also isolated the victim from other sources of support and information, and has made sure the victim sees them as the unquestionable source of the truth.

The vast majority of rapists don’t hang out in alleys to commit “stranger” rape. “Over 70% of sexual assaults are committed by someone the survivor knows. Over 40% of sexual assaults occur in the victim's home and another 30% take place in the home of a friend, neighbor or relative.”

If you’ve been abused, there is help available. Once you know the patterns to look for, abusers are much easier to spot. Remember, if someone has harmed you, you can bet there are other victims out there. If everyone who has been abused speaks up, the world will change. Those who work the hotlines, who counsel victims of domestic violence and other forms of sexual and spiritual abuse, have heard it all before. They will recognize your story. They won't be shocked and you don't have to be ashamed. The patterns are all too common.

Web Resources

No Nonsense Self-Defense is an excellent site with many informative articles. Among them:
* Profile of a Rapist (or a stalker, or an abuser): http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/profile.html
* Stalking/Domestic Violence: http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/stalking.html#domesticviolence

Domestic Violence: In the Mind of the Abuser: http://www.mvwcs.com/mindabuser.html

Warning Signs of an Abusive Personality: http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/warning_signs.html

Myths and Facts about Sexual Assault: http://www.mvwcs.com/samythfact.html
(“Myth: Women frequently "cry rape". Fact: The FBI reports that false accusations account for only 2% of all reported sexual assaults. This is no higher than false reports for any other crime.”)

Patterns of Emotional Abuse: http://www.mvwcs.com/emotionalabuse.html

Be Alert To Common Traits of Stalkers: http://www.esia.net/Common_Traits_of_Stalkers.htm

Books

* Why Does He DO That? - Inside the minds of angry and controlling men by Lundy Bancroft (This book identifies specific types of abusers and their M.O.s, though many abusers are of mixed types): http://www.lundybancroft.com/?page_id=52
* The Anatomy of Motive by John E. Douglas and Mark Olshaker (Understanding criminal psychology, the reasons predators abuse, the types of victims they target, and why):  http://books.google.com/books?id=3ewAoOHQQzcC
* Trauma and Recovery by Judith Hermann (Help recovering from PTSD, whether from combat in war or surviving domestic violence): http://www.jimhopper.com/trauma_and_recovery/

Phone and Internet Resources

* National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233): http://www.ndvh.org/
* RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673): http://www.rainn.org/
* NIWRC: National Indigenous Women's Resource Center: http://www.niwrc.org/
“Enhancing the safety of Native women and their children. Violence Against Native Women Is Not Traditional.”

* White Buffalo Calf Woman Society: http://www.wbcws.org/
* Mending the Sacred Hoop, Technical Assistance Project: http://www.msh-ta.org/
* South Dakota Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault: 1-800-572-9196: http://www.sdcedsv.org/
* Native Women's Society of the Great Plains: 1-605-455-2939 (not toll-free): http://nativewomenssocietyofthegreatplains.org/members/
* Domestic Violence and Native Americans: http://aihc1998.tripod.com/violence.html

I hope you find this helpful. The resources listed above are unfortunately biased to the USA and English so it would be extremely helpful if people from other countries could also add resources in other languages.

Permission to re-post granted by the author.
Title: Re: Identifying the Predator: Spiritual, Financial, and Sexual Abusers
Post by: RedRightHand on April 21, 2009, 08:40:48 pm
I've added a couple more NDN resources to the end of the article.

I'd also like to emphasize that I'd love to see this re-posted anywhere it might do good. I give permission for re-printing it in full. It would be nice if re-posts linked back to this original thread and attributed it to NAFPS and RedRightHand but I'm more interested in getting info out there than getting credit for it.
Title: Re: Identifying the Predator: Spiritual, Financial, and Sexual Abusers
Post by: Defend the Sacred on May 02, 2009, 05:00:05 am
Thanks for compiling all of this. I wish I had read it a year ago.

Though they are linked on a couple of the above sites, I'd like to add a direct link to White Buffalo Calf Woman Society (http://www.wbcws.org/). Their executive director, Tillie Black Bear, has been awarded The National Sexual Violence Resource Center’s 2009 Visionary Voice Award. Black Bear is considered a leading expert on violence against women and children.
Title: Re: Identifying the Predator: Spiritual, Financial, and Sexual Abusers
Post by: ComesWithFire on December 20, 2009, 06:39:42 pm
Wow wish I have read this sooner............While I am not sure if I can email or repost this.... may I have send the link to others so they can read it and educated thierselves on this matter? thank you for the information.
Title: Re: Identifying the Predator: Spiritual, Financial, and Sexual Abusers
Post by: debbieredbear on December 20, 2009, 06:54:21 pm
Certainly you can send the link!
Title: Re: Identifying the Predator: Spiritual, Financial, and Sexual Abusers
Post by: Defend the Sacred on December 20, 2009, 07:30:11 pm

You can also re-post this one wherever you like, as the author gave permission here:


I'd also like to emphasize that I'd love to see this re-posted anywhere it might do good. I give permission for re-printing it in full. It would be nice if re-posts linked back to this original thread and attributed it to NAFPS and RedRightHand but I'm more interested in getting info out there than getting credit for it.

Title: Re: Identifying the Predator: Spiritual, Financial, and Sexual Abusers
Post by: ComesWithFire on December 20, 2009, 11:09:30 pm
Thank you
Title: Re: Identifying the Predator: Spiritual, Financial, and Sexual Abusers
Post by: nemesis on May 22, 2010, 07:27:52 am
The OP is really excellent, however there is one aspect of the OP that is not congruent with my experience of researching abusive cults and nuage groups, especially pseudo-tantric groups, and that is the claim that abusers are overwhelmingly male.

In my experience, one of the very disturbing aspects of criminality within such groups is that there is a very high percentage of female abusers, including those who sexually abuse minors.

IME it is usual for there to be a male abuser at the top of the pyramid who has a group of adoring, obedient females, typically young, conventionally attractive females, who serve as window dressing but who also serve as recruiters.

In one pseudo-tantric cult that I have been researching for some time, without a doubt the vast majority of recruiters and abusers are female, even though there is a male at the top dictating things.

If people have not either researched or experienced this directly it can be a difficult thing to accept, to the point that sometimes these women get away with criminal activities that males would not.

So I suppose I would just like to add that, when attempting to identify if a person is a predator or not, do not make the assumption that assumption that such and such a person is not a predator simply because they are a woman, albeit an elderly grandmother or an attractive young woman.  Predators come in all guises.





Title: Re: Identifying the Predator: Spiritual, Financial, and Sexual Abusers
Post by: Liquidpaper on September 11, 2010, 05:08:38 am
Wow... thank you, thank you thank you so much for this post - I just went through a pretty harrowing experience a few months back, it was a personal relationship with an individual who practices "native shamanic healing" among other things, an amalgam of new age, astrology, wiccan, and whatever else, seems pretty common these days... came across this site when looking for more info on what, exactly, it is she does... but this post hit the mark and validates everything I just went through... can't thank you enough for this resource - I went into the relationship with an open mind, thinking, "Well, whatever works, if it helps people." But what ended up happening to me was exactly this, I knew it was abusive, but, definitely, spiritual abuse cloaked in the new-age mumbo jumbo... this hit the mark! Thanks again!
Title: Re: Identifying the Predator: Spiritual, Financial, and Sexual Abusers
Post by: nemesis on September 11, 2010, 08:04:18 am
Thank you for your courage in posting here liquidpaper

If you feel comfortable in doing so it might be helpful for others if you could describe a little more about what happened to you.

Only if you feel comfortable of course.  I understand that these things can be very painful to talk about.

I know that the mods here hold on to a lot of very sensitive information that is not posted on the boards, so it may also be very helpful if you feel able to identify your abuser to them, if it is something you feel able to do.

It is so important to stop these predators.

Thanks again and have some hugs

(((liquidpaper)))

love the name by the way :)
Title: Re: Identifying the Predator: Spiritual, Financial, and Sexual Abusers
Post by: Defend the Sacred on November 05, 2012, 09:07:41 pm
Courtesy of  Native Women's Society of the Great Plains (https://www.facebook.com/pages/Native-Womens-Society-of-the-Great-Plains/103263983043188?ref=stream)

(https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/317277_447595565276693_1157441167_n.jpg)

(https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/548531_447604855275764_1071863326_n.jpg)

(https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/530855_447609875275262_1839198385_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Identifying the Predator: Spiritual, Financial, and Sexual Abusers
Post by: GB on November 06, 2012, 01:54:00 am
Brilliant post and links for info & graphics to share.  Am going to pass this information along to some people who are being abused by a new age person, via cult like tactics, control/ego and bully tactics.
Awareness and education are so important, very much appreciate the ones who take the time to share, help and pass along.
Thank you so very much.


Title: Re: Identifying the Predator: Spiritual, Financial, and Sexual Abusers
Post by: GB on November 21, 2012, 04:38:53 pm
Any links recommended or information  that may assist victims/survivors who are continued to be bullied online?

With social media such as FB, am seeing a disturbing trend of "leader & followers" continue to harass via social media.
Some are having to deactivate their FB accounts, which  further disconnects and isolates them from family and friends.
:(

Title: Re: Identifying the Predator: Spiritual, Financial, and Sexual Abusers
Post by: Epiphany on November 27, 2012, 02:29:00 am
Any links recommended or information  that may assist victims/survivors who are continued to be bullied online?

With social media such as FB, am seeing a disturbing trend of "leader & followers" continue to harass via social media.
Some are having to deactivate their FB accounts, which  further disconnects and isolates them from family and friends.
:(

I've been in that situation and have some ideas to pass on.

*Keep records of all unwanted contact, anything that rises to a potential threat level turn over to police

*Disengage from the predators, block their ability to contact online, change phone # if need be, don't get into any type of conversation with them

*If necessary do a simple "Leave me alone" and then don't respond to any further contact

*Focus on rebuilding, great ideas here on recovery: http://www.rickross.com/reference/recovery/recovery3.html (http://www.rickross.com/reference/recovery/recovery3.html)

*Ideas on how to interact (or not) with loved ones who are still in the destructive group: http://www.rickross.com/coping.html (http://www.rickross.com/coping.html)

*If cyberbullying makes Facebook unusable, come up with something else, perhaps create a members only website for survivors

I had to learn to not be available to any contact from them, to fully disengage and refocus, and to read up a lot on what all I'd experienced. Destructive groups and leaders use a lot of loaded language and it took me awhile to recover from that http://www.rickross.com/reference/brainwashing/brainwashing19.html (http://www.rickross.com/reference/brainwashing/brainwashing19.html)

Any good resources on cyberbullying, domestic violence, and other forms of abuse will all apply - even if written for kids or another group we aren't specifically part of

So in summary :) Keep records, report abuse, disengage, find safety, learn about what happened, support each other, educate others, move on, have a good life.
Title: Re: Identifying the Predator: Spiritual, Financial, and Sexual Abusers
Post by: moreinfo on December 04, 2012, 03:56:52 am
these sites may be helpful to understand who these types of people are, and how they operate their  "healing/spiritual programs" and what watch out for about how they lure people into their indoctrinations and agendas

http://www.enlightened-spirituality.org/Warning_signs_of_dysfunctional_cults.html

http://factnet.org/vbforum/showthread.php?12253-Characteristics-of-a-Sociopath

here is a trainers manual for a high demand group founded by CHUCK and LENCY SPEZANNO called PSYCHOLOGY OF VISION, this group is founded from and based on A COURSE OF MIRACLES.

http://www.psychologyofvision.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/Trainer_Manual_2011_English.pdf

they have targeted first nations money,some of the money was meant for residential school survivors,very few rss received the money or the healing that was meant for them..
does anyone have any information or concerns about CHUCK SPEZANNO and PSYCHOLOGY OF VISION ??

http://www.psychologyofvision.com/about/principles-of-pov/

here is LENCY working some of her magic,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcOoCtUJ-kI

 
 
Title: Re: Identifying the Predator: Spiritual, Financial, and Sexual Abusers
Post by: Defend the Sacred on December 08, 2013, 10:28:11 pm
This brief article nails it. I'm unfamiliar with the author, but it's spot-on. I'm going to copy it here it case it disappears from HuffPo.*
_______________________________________________________________

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/12/07/dating-a-psychopath_n_4378946.html

10 Signs Your Man Is A Psychopath (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/12/07/dating-a-psychopath_n_4378946.html)

Written by Kiri Blakeley (http://thestir.cafemom.com/blogger/112/kiri_blakeley) on CafeMom’s blog, The Stir (http://thestir.cafemom.com/love_sex/164716/10_ways_to_know_in) .

Are you in a relationship with a psychopath? You might think that's something you'd know right away by the red tint of evil in the person's eyes, the swastika tat on the forehead, or the insistence on discussing serial killers over dinner. But nope! Psychopaths can be extremely charming and come across like Prince Charming at first. So unless you know the signs, you'd probably get sucked into the life of a psychopath and not know who he or she really was until you are completely sucker punched. Here are 10 signs you should look out for to quickly identify a psychopath.

1. Flattery like you've never heard before. Psychopaths move extremely quickly. On the first date, he'll probably tell you that you are stunningly beautiful, unbelievably intelligent, and uproariously witty. He will play into every fantasy and insecurity you have. If you think you're fat, he will tell you how much he loves your body. If you think you're shy, he will laugh at every lame attempt at a joke and tell you you should have been a comedian. This is called "love bombing." It's the idealization phase he gets you hooked on, and it's the phase you will spend the next however-many months or years trying to get back once he abruptly shuts it off.

2. He is just like you. Psychopaths will try to convince you that you are soul mates, just alike. He loves all the things you and and you have all of the same interests. If you had a tough childhood, he will say something like, "We both had it rough. That's why we understand each other." If there's an obscure book you love, he will make sure he loves it too. What he's doing is called "mirroring." He has no real identity, so he sucks yours up and mirrors it back to you.

3. Pity plays. Pay careful attention to what a psychopath says on the first few dates about his exes and other people in his life. Is his ex girlfriend crazy and stalking him? Did another girlfriend rob him blind? Is his mother controlling and horrible? Does he seem like he's had a tough time with people, who always use and abandon him? Whatever he says about the other people in his life is pretty much exactly what he'll be saying about you at some point, so listen carefully.

4. Illnesses and injuries. Psychopaths absolutely love pity, so pay attention to how many illnesses and injuries he's had. Did he miraculously beat cancer but it could come back at any minute? Does he break his foot on your second date and has to cancel? (But strangely is okay for the third date?) Did he lose his first wife in a car accident that left him with brain trauma (yet he talks fine and seems fine)? Try to check out his stories -- call hospitals if you need to -- but don't be surprised if he has an excuse for why you can't find any record of any of his traumas.

5. Great sex. Everyone wants great sex, but those who have been with a psychopath often say it's the best thing they've ever experienced. A psychopath goes out of his way to please you. It's just another way of getting you hooked. Once he has you hooked, you'll find yourself begging for sex because he suddenly won't want it anymore.

6. Cracks in the mask. A psychopath will sometimes blurt out something odd about himself, apropos of nothing. Like you might be cooking dinner and suddenly he blurts, "I'm crazy you know." Or "I'm cheating on you." He will then either deny he said it or play it off as a joke. A form of keeping you off balance -- but also possibly an unconscious slip of the mask of his persona.

7. Silent treatment. Once psychopaths have you hooked after the "love bombing" and "idealization" phase, they then begin to devalue you. The first step in that is usually to give you the silent treatment over something. Psychopaths are also known to disappear for days at a time. Be sure, the silent treatment and disappearing act will be laid squarely at your feet. In reality, he is off sizing up his next target somewhere.

8. Triangulation. Psychopaths love to work you up into a state of obsessive frenzy, so to do that, they idealize you, give you fabulous sex, and then begin pulling away and "triangulating." This is when they introduce other people into the mix to make you jealous. It could be an ex-wife or ex-girlfriend, a friend of the same sex, or even a celebrity. In the psychopaths mind, everyone else wants him, so you better be on your best behavior, or he will move on to one of his adoring fans.

9. Discard. The final phase of the psychopath is the "discard" phase. After he sucks you in with idealization, then begins to devalue you, he will suddenly discard you as if you never had a relationship. You are suddenly completely worthless to him. He will usually move on to another target at this point.

10. "Hoovering." Although a psychopath will discard you, he doesn't quite want you moving on either. If he senses you are done with him, he will suddenly do an about-face, and begin bombarding you with pleas to stay together. He will try to "Hoover" (named after the vacuum cleaning company) you back in by saying everything you've ever wanted to hear, making a million promises, and suddenly being on his absolute best behavior. It's all an act so he can get you back into the fold.

The only way to get rid of a psychopath is to completely go no contact. It's the only thing that doesn't fuel his games and ego. He will make that difficult for you -- some psychopaths will stalk you, most will Hoover. But to engage him in any way, even just to tell him off, only leaves you open to more mind games, which he will win, because he has no feelings. (Those who have children with psychopaths must develop low contact, and keep in touch only as much as absolutely needed as regards the children.)

Of course, nobody is perfect, and some people are just immature and go through periods of giving the silent treatment, or "devaluing" you with critical comments. Other people may triangulate to create jealousy because they're insecure or bored or don't even quite realize they're doing it. There are also plenty of garden-variety jerks out there who will engage in a lot of "psychopathic" behavior without being clinical psychopaths. But if your lover engages in much or all of this behavior, then he or she is likely psychopathic, and you should run for the hills!

_______________________________________________________________
*Our site is not for profit, so I think it's within fair use to copy this here. I don't usually do this, but this is important.
Title: Re: Identifying the Predator: Spiritual, Financial, and Sexual Abusers
Post by: mark747eagle on June 25, 2014, 09:51:53 am
Not related to false shamans, but I had direct experience of this as a small child over many years.  Paedophiles operate in much the same way.  But they also groom families.  This could save so many from a fate almost worse than death.  Thank you.  No pity required BTW.  I am strong and I survived eight years of it.  Now nothing much can break me, but I still have my heart and soul intact.
Title: Re: Identifying the Predator: Spiritual, Financial, and Sexual Abusers
Post by: Sturmboe on June 29, 2014, 04:17:10 pm
I think there are frauds who are psychopath, but it seems to me the most got other personality problems.
I guess those frauds with personalitiy disorders can have histrionic and / or
narcissistic personality disorder, psychotic disorder in this combinations I can also imagine. But in the psychotic issue I would act with caution.
Title: Re: Identifying the Predator: Spiritual, Financial, and Sexual Abusers
Post by: Quimichipilli on December 02, 2014, 05:05:09 am
Tlazocamati for this article. I recently wrote a piece on the subject based off my personal experience in the  Los Angeles Indigenous community. I would like to use some of your great info to update my page if that's cool. Thanks again for the great and much needed insight and info.

http://6thsunridaz.com/protecting-yourself-against-spiritual-predators/ (http://6thsunridaz.com/protecting-yourself-against-spiritual-predators/)
Title: Re: Identifying the Predator: Spiritual, Financial, and Sexual Abusers
Post by: RedRightHand on November 24, 2015, 09:23:30 pm
Sometimes psychopaths get jobs with law enforcement. These predators particularly enjoy the cloak and dagger drama, risk and power of long-term undercover surveillance.

Here's one story of a man who did this to women:

Woman Finds Out Boyfriend of Six Years Is Undercover Cop Spying on Her and Her Friends (http://www.alternet.org/news-amp-politics/woman-finds-out-boyfriend-six-years-undercover-cop-spying-her-and-her-friends)
"I thought I knew him better than anyone."


By Rob Evans / The Guardian
November 21, 2015

"They established that he was... an undercover policeman who had been sent to spy on her circle of activist friends. For seven years, he had adopted a fake persona to infiltrate environmental groups. Their unmasking of him five years ago kickstarted a chain of events that has exposed one of the state’s most deeply concealed secrets.

"Back then, the public knew little about a covert operation that had been running since 1968. Only a limited number of senior police officers knew about it. [He] was one of more than 100 undercover officers who, over the previous four decades, had transformed themselves into fake campaigners for years at a time, assimilating themselves into political groups and hoovering up information about protests that they had helped to organise."

This particular story is about one agent who was exposed in the UK. But it has also happened, and is still happening, in the US, in NDN Country and in radical environmentalist groups, among others.
Title: Re: Identifying the Predator: Spiritual, Financial, and Sexual Abusers
Post by: moonchild on March 15, 2016, 08:09:25 pm
Does anyone have any suggestions as to where one would go for legal support in cases like these?  It bothers me that this can be done, and the perpetrator can often,  (I think), walk away unscathed, while the victim is left to pick up the pieces. Also, in my experience,  the person inflicting these injuries is also running a smear campaign behind the back if the victim, grooming even the victim's friends and family. Another forum I'm on refers to these groomed people as "flying monkeys." 
Title: Re: Identifying the Predator: Spiritual, Financial, and Sexual Abusers
Post by: moonchild on March 15, 2016, 09:52:54 pm
Btw,  RedRightHand,

I did repaste your link about the undercover cop on narcissistsupport.com/forum

I did attribute to you, but if you wish to look, I can send a p.m. with a link to my post, and make corrections to my attribution.
Title: Re: Identifying the Predator: Spiritual, Financial, and Sexual Abusers
Post by: onlytruthremains on August 20, 2016, 07:36:03 pm
I was psychologically and emotionally abused by a New Agey therapist for over a year and experienced exactly these traits.

When you come to understand the hallmark signs of a narcissist/psychopath (narcopath), they become easy to spot. They are not very original and use the same lines e.g. "you can trust me...", "I would never do anything to hurt you" followed by over the top praise and admiration in the beginning e.g. "you're very special", "I think you are amazing" , "we have a special connection", in order to win your trust. Once that trust is won by these manipulations, the mask eventually slips and you see another more sinister side of the person. This is where cognitive dissonance kicks in and you find yourself unable to make sense of what is happening to you or of who this person actually is. Most people then begin to blame themselves for the abuse.

Getting you to doubt yourself via shame, blame, guilt-trips, and manipulation are the narcopaths #1 M.O. Predators, whether they are the people we date, seek "healing" from in some professional capacity, or simply have to interact with, prefer targets who are vulnerable for the most part, but will also prey on anyone they feel they can get away with.

I will add to this list of red flags by saying that if you are dealing with ANYONE who when called upon their actions, immediately attempts to blame and shame YOU rather than take responsibility, you are dealing with a toxic narcissist and should immediately distance yourself from them. If you are in ANY kind of interaction with another human being that takes on the quality of a roller  coaster ride -- meaning up and down, up and down, depending upon the whims of the other person, you are dealing with a toxic narcissist and should also get out as soon as possible. Ditto anyone who tries to convince you that you are "unstable" "crazy" or not seeing things clearly whenever you attempt to hold them accountable for their outrageous actions.

Trust your instincts because they are there for a reason. Our bodies will give us signals when something and someone is not right for us. It is their for our protection. Learning to listen to those signals and not discount them will keep you safe.

What happened to me should never happen to anyone seeking healing. If I knew then what I know now, I could have saved myself an enormous amount of pain and suffering. Being betrayed  and abused by someone you should have been able to trust is one of the greatest betrayals we as human beings can ever experience or perpetrate on one another.

Always remember that those with dark intentions often come wrapped in facades of innocence and light. Trust your inner knowing.
Title: Re: Identifying the Predator: Spiritual, Financial, and Sexual Abusers
Post by: onlytruthremains on August 20, 2016, 07:39:39 pm
Just wanted to add that I am female and was abused by a female therapist. There is a great misconception in our culture that only men are psychopaths or abusers. Women are just as capable. In fact, some of the most dangerous narcissists/psychopaths I have known have been women not men.
Title: Re: Identifying the Predator: Spiritual, Financial, and Sexual Abusers
Post by: Xochi on September 14, 2018, 04:45:10 am
Nice compassionate information. Very helpful.
Title: Re: Identifying the Predator: Spiritual, Financial, and Sexual Abusers
Post by: RedRightHand on December 26, 2018, 10:01:54 pm
The victim-grooming described in these posts is textbook:
http://www.newagefraud.org/smf/index.php?topic=5261.msg45918#msg45918
Read this survivor's account and note the red flags she sees in hindsight. She was conned by a skilled, dangerous predator. Her account is very familiar to those of us who've survived abuse by similar criminals.
Title: Re: Identifying the Predator: Spiritual, Financial, and Sexual Abusers
Post by: Sparks on November 20, 2021, 02:52:26 am
Tlazocamati for this article. I recently wrote a piece on the subject based off my personal experience in the  Los Angeles Indigenous community. I would like to use some of your great info to update my page if that's cool. Thanks again for the great and much needed insight and info.

http://6thsunridaz.com/protecting-yourself-against-spiritual-predators/ (http://6thsunridaz.com/protecting-yourself-against-spiritual-predators/)

This link now goes to a website with Chinese content. Can you please update it?
Title: Re: Identifying the Predator: Spiritual, Financial, and Sexual Abusers
Post by: cellophane on November 20, 2021, 03:28:01 am
https://sixthsunridaz.com/protecting-yourself-against-spiritual-predators/